After my father’s death in 1993 I found some of his old writings, thouhgts and insights in the unfinished journals he left behind. Before his death I used to dismiss his writing as “chicken scratch” … I couldn’t read it at all! But after he died, miraculously, I could understand his writings … because I needed to.
Written hurriedly with his left-hand … pages partially filled with small, tight, stingy letters that handwriting experts would likely tell you is exemplary of a selfish person … but I submit it was from a man with the largest heart I will ever know … whose thoughts just happened to form faster than his pen could move. He would always say, “Boy … wait ‘til I write my book!” but, alas, he never got the chance.
I found answers to questions long pondered and sauve for wounded souls in his prophetic words. I thought here would be a safe place to posit some of his thoughts and share his writings with the world as he shared himself. This unnamed poem – that I’ve decided to entitle, The Pregnant Girl – written some 30 years ago is one such example.
I met a pregnant girl today,
Who seemed so sad inside;
I asked myself, “Why should this be?
On the eve of the birth of her child?”
And then I thought as I watched her eyes,
Once filled with joy but now tears
Things have been rough with her delicate heart,
Especially the last few years!
She’s torn between a love once felt,
And what her mind screams in her ear;
“It’s over now! To hope is futile!”
My God! Why won’t she hear?!
Perhaps the birth of a new life begun,
Will give her the strength she needs
To face reality – and leave him alone,
And surround the babe with good seeds.
She’s changed from the girl I once knew,
Who lived, loved and really swung!
And now she’s sad, burdened and troubled,
As if an albatross around her neck has been hung!
The marriage ended before it began,
For no foundation was there from the start;
She thought she could change the one she loved,
But they’re only much further apart!
God is no fool! He demands the best,
From her, whom He’s given much,
She is destined for so much more in life,
Than to be a useless crutch!
I pray she’ll awaken, get hold of herself,
And prepare herself for her child;
Do now what’s best for the unborn babe,
Stop saying, “I can’t” for awhile.
The pregnant girl is sad, I know,
Her heart is broken and bruised;
Her cheeks are worn with hurting tears,
And her whole young life is confused!
And so I watch her in her struggle,
To break the chains that bind;
Her to her own self-made prison,
Where she now has lived for some time!
So now I say, Oh babe, yet unborn,
My heart goes out to you,
I pray the pregnant girl I saw today,
Will become the girl I once knew!
She’s leaving now – walks out the door,
An escape she hopes to find;
A walk – a talk – a word – a thought …
“Lord, please keep me off my mind!”
-Rev. Wendell H. Phillips-